January 8, 2021
We moved to run the Rockhill Cottage group home August 1, 2008. With no family or friends here, we stepped into a group home that was already full of kids. We then learned that we were required to develop contacts to provide our own relief parents so that we could have our time off. These two things mixed to result in not much time off that first year and deep feelings of isolation and loneliness. We even attended the same church that the previous parents had, trying to maintain some things the same. In our efforts to help the kids though, we handicapped ourselves. Since “our family” had been attending the church before we were added to our family, no one considered us new or welcomed us to the community or town. Just more isolation while we were barely treading water in the foster care ocean.
Over the past decade, we have had many different sets of relief parents come into our home and work with our kids. It took many years to establish our mighty little tribe. They forge the problems of foster care with us. They stick with us when we think it is a great idea to add a sibling group of 6 to our full family of 7. They come back after weekends when all the kids drop sick with the stomach bug and then they get home only to discover they have it, too. They come back after the power goes out forcing them to relocate to the other group home location for the duration of a LONG power outage. They make blankets for each one of the children, complete with their name appliqued on it. They take our kids on road trips to Disney World (for the only break we have ever taken in December). They comfort the kids that are distraught and having meltdowns. They spend weeks at the beach with us. They have watched our kids during an ice storm that knocked out power, caused a tree to snap and break the fence, leading to a herd of cows in our yard. They create special traditions and rituals for their time with the kids. They have completed our surprise annual licensing while we have been on time off (twice) without breaking a sweat. They have dropped kids off at camp in the summer. I could keep the list going for pages.
Our tribe has loved us and our kids well. You know who you are if you have been invited into this part of our lives. You are treasured in our hearts. You have been peace amid chaos. You have laughed with us at the unbelievable things our kids have done (and like us, since you know our kids, you realize it is totally believable). You have helped clear the rubble from trauma in the hearts of these kids. You have prayed diligently for them and us. You have been a constant bright spot in our lives, and we are better because of doing not just foster life, but life, with you all. Thank you for being Rockhill Tribe. It takes a village; you are ours.